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    Limited to 500 copies. Includes 24" x 24" insert, black inner sleeve and gold foil stamped jacket.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Suffer On via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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Together 04:25
Thrashing of the bones I can never sleep I wish that I could pay someone to care for me Honestly... Girls of the world leave me room to breathe When you think about me do it in your sleep Privately... Death is in the air It's hotter than you'd think I wish that I could pay a friend to buy me drinks Sad to be alive and when I'm by your side In my heart and eyes we're connected mind to mind Together Visions of your chest Shadow of the past Esoteric fragments of a spell I cast Heavy on wine  The comfort of a bed Things I find myself drawn to in times of stress Life subservient to conflict and to death Final breath Sad to be alive and when I'm by your side In my heart and eyes we're connected mind to mind Together
Rest 02:10
Do you need time to rest Does it take time to heal Will it help you feel better knowing that I'll stay clear Do I not know you the best Am I not always real Am I your great upsetter Do I not do what I want Not all that I want I stay here Do I not make your bed Do I not wake as soon as you wake Isn't it blood I've bled Do I not cast out all mistakes Do I bore you to death Tell me did I not forget to take Am I not filled with dread Do you not see all that I make Cast spells Write checks Would I not lay and press my chest against your chest Do I not tell you misbehave How much time have I spent trying to get through to you Do what she will I'll let her Let me try something new How much love have I lent Can you repay me soon Am I the great forgetter I don't remember you I don't remember you
I Need Help 04:03
What's life I'm a hollow shell That cannot talk to you at night Wish that I had you on tape I don't remember what it's like Hard times baby I need help I don't think my stars align In bad times I don't think I'll make it out When you raise your voice you're tearing out my spine I've got a heart half full but I still I spill The same way I spill my red wine But if in a moment you slip  And put your lip upon my lip I won't sue you  I don't speak aloud I only text Your friend said that would be alright  I wade through phases I cannot express You hear me talk in complicated rhyme And so I just stay here planning my next step I wait home and pace rooms This is every night Is it the way you react I place my hand upon your back I'll be real with you This is a crisis You choose not to see it I went away because away's what I needed This is not treason but sometimes it feels it Sometimes you lie and you lie for no reason I'd say you'd stay but can't honestly mean it I am in pain and I keep it a secret Hard times baby I need help... It's not the words that I lack It's how your eyes look like a cat's  I can't get through to you
Dark resurrection  This is me Trapped inside my own mouth Taking care of my house Haven't seen you bare in some time but that's on me In the darkest of ways I go to sleep Wrapped in a death bag Alone in a death bed With no one to talk to Still trapped in my own head All I want from her is just one thing I know...
I know the two of us have had a hard time speaking when there's something to be said We know We know the two of us are in a strange way In a strange place How do we make our love grow I forget Tell me what you need from me to reconnect I can't I can't read a green light It's so hard to make out when my head isn't on right I can't hold you but I have to My life in a cube Projections of you I can't tell you that it's alright In blank conversation Depresssed on a weeknight I can't bring myself around you In shadows and doom I'm thinking of you And how I can connect you back to me... My hand on her shoulder How can I get through to her I try to bring it up but I can't speak And so I'm so afraid to love you And my heart hurts always And I want you all the time Alone... To think that I'm alone is like my worst fear I need you right here How do we make our love grow I forget Haven't I laid bare my intentions yet
Contact 02:55
I don't get enough sleep Paranoid being I heard the rain but I thought I heard keys I couldn't see if there was cameras on me I'm afraid to make contact What's a month when the whole year is bad Had a bad couple nights but I'm back Yeah I'm back to the secrets we kept I kind of like how the cat's in the bag And I like how she acts like a cat And I know that it's not what I want What I want is her love to myself What I want is for her to react I'm going back to bed I'm going back to the water I feel more pain than I mention Saw light shine through on the altar See through Do more for you than I need to I feel like you wear a mask when I meet you Shadows in the yard  What do we do Another mess last week Chaos in me If this is love why is it hard for me to breathe Don't want no one to have advantage over me I want you totally Symbiotic being Saw you in soft light looking at me Felt you in past tense leaning on me I feel a crisis looming over me I'm afraid to make contact Because your tone might change You might forget my name I'm afraid to make contact
Crushed 04:09
So I walk alone to reclaim what both of us had felt I'm calling out to all anons to help me help myself When I'm curious The signals are a mess when I reach out to It's sad I'm wishful in the way that I wish you'd help find my way back When I wander I am fearless I'm still near you Can you hear this It's how I can put my hand on your back in our bed and I still feel alone Sometimes when you're home I don't think that you're really home Celebration Am I worth it I call out to you With no purpose I just want you With no reason To deserve it It's constantly bad I feel constantly judged I feel you and I feel crushed And put on the spot You do and you don't Your eyes say both yes and no I thought you'd respond if my entire self was you I wake up enraged and throw my phone across the room Stability... I don't have it I just struggle with my stresses And I'm social Contradicting what is normal How I'm feeling
In a serious way to start the day I wake up in unknowing I wonder what haunts this house Woe is me Depression in passionate phrase The tiger in me is untamed So hate me but don't go away I wake up in pain The connection is tenuous at best And weighing on my chest The best times have all come and gone Tell me where I have gone wrong Go back to a past life I had you up all night You like me right Help me turn my systems on Go back to a past life And heal me with your light In the way that I hold on to a feeling too long I hold on to you and in song I feel you growing tighter I wonder if you're all but gone I love you but I notice something wrong The past is not only a place I give you your time and your space So you can have all to my name I wake up in pain There's times when I'm cold and I'm afraid There's times when I can't stay Help me back from where I've gone Tell me where I have gone wrong Go back to a past life I had you up all night You like me right Help me turn my systems on Go back to a past life And heal me with your light
Does your head stop when you go to bed I know no one else that works as much as you work I'd make time for you again Maybe when you're back in love factor me into your plans What are they I won't go there It's depression  Honestly There is nothing i can do to not feel heavy If I looked back I would see The best parts of you I've been missing lately It's depression and it takes over totally I think that I'm a fake in mind and body If we did talk When would it be Right when you get home from work  Before you have to sleep Conversation needs time to breathe Heart that won't stop Let me be I know no one else that hurts as much as I hurt In times of stress I panic because I don't want you to leave I don't know what is real and so I question everything My heart will not shut up I say and honestly I can't love you enough in mind and body
It's over now Emotions still erratic but I'm sober now But if there was a shining road for me to take I'd call upon a darker path to show itself Have you ever seen me act in such a state In times of stress just go and look the other way I lost another charger up in Soho house  Before the driver took me to another place And so... My head isn't straight I'm in pain Take me away And throw me in the midst of lust And pray the label covers us It feels like my bed is a hospital bed The time is now For me to claw myself away from pain and doubt And carry on my shoulders what I started when Pleasing you was all I really was about Maybe you'd have someone if I left you then And so I keep in mind you might have gone away Or taken on another person's blood to drink I think that the arrangement we both have is great It's death at whom I stare I think she's unaware And so my heart is enlarged and enflamed Put me in graves And throw me in the midst of lust And pray the label covers us It feels like my bed is a hospital bed
Suffer On 05:33
Sometimes I need in the night There's a path there I'm unknowing What is back there on the other side All I can do is the same That's the price I pay Because I love her all of the time When I'm giving When I'm restless When I'm waiting for her to signal twice If this is the last time I'll make it the best time and crystallize time I'm tethered Go ahead Lead me on Go and put your head on my stomach  And bring me to life The pact we made is Faustian and not without heavy head I'll have what I want but not without consequence Bought Sold Tongue is tied Lead a different life Take a different road And settle... Settle me down girl I'm not meant for stress of this kind and my head hurts The lesson here No one ever fall in love again I guess that if you've got it lock it up Is it public The need in my life Am I desperate and grieving Constantly stressed for no reason or meaning Let me inside And finally caved on Saturday night And I think I need to tell my friends about it How natural it seemed To be present In the moment Not trapped by the past This will change us Won't it And in all honesty I can honestly say that you'll stand next to me The mystery is gone Curtains are gone Totally  Visibly  Exposed and it seems that I'm outside in darkness Beyond the trees I am waiting Can you see me How can I tell you where I have been lately Dimensions away and void of all patience Bought Sold  Tongue is tied Lead a different life Take a different road Suffer on Suffer on Suffer on...


Wicca Phase Springs Eternal is the creative persona of Scranton, PA singer, songwriter, producer, and multi-instrumentalist Adam McIlwee. Stark transmissions of obsession, melancholia, and raw emotion compliment acoustic guitar and digital percussion as if Peter Murphy and Metro Boomin had been playing Ouija together. Beneath the deep 808’s, moody synthesizers and cackling guitar, McIlwee’s singular voice effectively resonates with a generation raised amidst the frenzied collage of modern digital expression.

Wicca Phase first materialized in 2010. After receiving the name suggestion in an email from a friend on tumblr, McIlwee began writing and recording under the moniker. “Once I heard the name, it felt perfect,” he explains. Evoking mystical, occult resonances, the name serves as a passageway to explore the parallels between the material world and that of mystery. “My music is very representative of what I’m doing in the moment,” he continues. “The influence of the name seeps in and lets everyone know they’re getting into something deeper.”

McIlwee’s innate songwriting gift can be traced back to his time in Tigers Jaw, the widely influential band he fronted before walking away in 2013 to fully embark onto new creative pathways. “I was super active on tumblr at the time and came across all of this early internet rap. It was inspiring.” He sought more fervently the immediacy of writing, recording and releasing songs instantly, releasing music from his bedroom with no consideration for the industries standard protocol.

As he continued to evolve in his new artistic endeavors he ultimately linked up with likeminded creatives by way of Twitter DMs. Together he and his newfound collaborators built a network of creators across the country and in 2015, Wicca Phase Springs Eternal co-founded Gothboiclique (GBC). Comprised of ten artists including Cold Hart, Horse Head, Lil Tracy, and eventually the late Lil Peep, the internet collective began creating a palpable buzz and accordingly influencing a growing wave of artists and musicians.

“GBC is really rooted in the spirit of loner culture and heartbreak culture,” he elaborates. “There’s this dark element that’s always been a part of American gothic music, the aesthetic, and the subculture,” McIlwee explains.

With GBC’s growing notoriety, Wicca Phase Springs Eternal simultaneously established himself as a singular voice, adeptly combining his natural songwriting instincts with the digital culture enveloping his world. Through an extensive catalog of collaborations, singles, EPs and 2016’s Secret Boy LP, McIlwee has become a celebrated pioneer in this vital new direction of underground music. Along the way, he assembled what would become his 2019 Run For Cover Records debut, Suffer On, with the sonic bedrock evolving yet again as he re-embraces an initial vision.

Suffer On is an exploration of familiar forms through the lens of something new and extraordinary. It is the first Wicca Phase record fully written by McIlwee, utilizing guitars and keyboards to create each song’s core and building upwards from there.

“It’s so much easier to write more impactful songs when you’re doing it from scratch,” Adam explains. “You create the journey for listeners as opposed to getting a map from a producer and trying to fit what you’re saying onto it. It’s all coming from me.”

On the first single “Just One Thing,” fearless percussion reconditions his vulnerable and vital delivery. He croons, “To think that I’m alone is like my worst fear, I want you right here.”

Themes of longing, entrapment and sacrifice permeate the album - the notion of wanting more and not getting it. Production and lyrics are both intentionally sparse and bleak, reinforcing such feelings and allowing room for the weighty moods to fill the sonic void.

Lush acoustic guitar underscores the heavy emotionality of “Crushed” as he dissects a “natural anxiety about everything.” Then, there’s “Put Me In Graves.” Ethereal synths shimmer above double-time drums as his cadence wavers between frenetic and danceable.

Suffer On’s title track encapsulates the delicate sorrow at the record’s heart over a haunting timbre.

“It’s about making a deal with the devil,” he says. “It’s saying I can pursue this artistic thing as a career, but the consequence is I’m going to put myself out there in an emotional state for everybody to consume.” But it was never really a choice which path to follow - like all great songwriters, McIlwee is driven by the innate urge to express himself through song. And in the end, Suffer On emanates its own magic stemming from its creator.


released February 15, 2019


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